A Poem for Today

Do not be ashamed


You will be walking some night,
in the comfortable dark of your yard,
and suddenly a great light will shine
round about you, and behind you
will be a wall you never saw before.

It will be clear to you suddenly
that you were about to escape,
and that you are guilty: you misread
the complex instructions, you are not
a member, you lost your card
or never had one. And you will know
that they have been there all along,
their eyes on your letters and books,
their hands in your pockets,
their ears wired to your bed.

Though you have done nothing shameful,
they will want you to be ashamed.
They will want you to kneel and weep
and say you should have been like them.
And once you say you are ashamed,
reading the page they hold out to you,
then such light as you have made
in your history will leave you.

They will no longer need to pursue you.
You will pursue them, begging forgiveness.

They will not forgive you.

There is no power against them.
It is only candor that is aloof from them,
only an inward clarity, unashamed,
that they cannot reach.
Be ready.
When their light has picked you out
and their questions are asked, say to them:
"I am not ashamed."
A sure horizon will come around you.
The heron will begin his evening flight from the hilltop.

-Wendell Berry-

Fantasy Island

If I had my way I would be raising goats, bees, and chickens.

This is not to say my lot is not good, but with these 3 things, I could easily see Justin and I being rather self sustaining.

I like goat cheese and honey...what could make more sense?

Manifestation part 3

Studio

I had a studio when I was 22. I lived in the basement of the Broadlind hotel with 2 other artists. It was not a perfect place, but we worked to make it a livable, viable work-space as we continued pursuing our separate passions and studies at CSULB. I was quite prolific at the time and managed to create life as well as art. You all know the lovely tale of my son and how he has enriched my life but something very special happened when I had separated from his father and started to remember my magic.

When I started sculpting, about 14 years ago, I met an artist who I helped as a model. I met him at his studio. The studio was on a hill, overlooking the ocean. In a leotard, holding a veil of fabric, he took pictures of me standing in the bitter cold wind of that bleak winter afternoon.

We had taken the pictures on the edge of a bluff, with a sacred Indian circle behind us. Though the day was wretched and bone-numbing cold, the wind wending its way into his studio as he set up the armature, I vowed to have a studio in the same complex. I dreamed of it through out the session....and then promptly forgot about it under the pressures of raising an 8 yo on my own and keeping my creative spirit alive.

Flash forward:
I am not a “mommy” anymore and now have the dubious title of mom. I live with a man who loves not only my corporeal body and wicked ways but admires and supports the creative in me. It is a golden time.

I submit an application to be considered for a space in the Angels Gate Cultural Center, an artists community near our home. I am accepted. And as I move in, I open the double doors of my studio and see the red summer sun setting behind the sacred circle on the bluff.

I am here.
I am blessed.
I have come full circle.

The upper level of the Garden, early July

Here it is... The upper Terrace.
In full swing is the three tomatoes, onions and beets.



It is time to get the strawberries to get growing and the basil seems to have made the transplanting quite well.

I have some more tomatoes to plant in the lower terrace next week and I am contemplating more melon plants, though the thought is a bit scary. Melons can become monsters...real fast!

Raw Chioggia Beet Chips

I am demonstrating the beauty of my Chioggia Beets and the clever art of dehydration. Though I tried to produce a crunchy, thoroughly crisp chip, many drying hours later, I still had a fruit leather like substance. Not good. I wish I knew how to make them more “crispy” without cooking the diddly out of them.



A self congratulatory note here : the initial stage looked mighty fine, did’nt it? I promise to apply myself to this technology again. In the meantime, and for the record, my salt and vinegar sweet potato chips were a hit last weekend!

The Mysterious Acanthus Leaf’

In school, we always saw stylized versions on columns, scrolls and borders. You would see them represented in illustrations and architecture. I have always wondered what Acanthus leaves really looked like.

Well.....here ya go.




Now you know too

Once again ...the Garden!

I am now allowed to garden the lower terrace once used by Mario. He makes note that I am not setting out my Fava Bean plants out properly. Next year he says he’ll “supervise” me as I plant.

I am wondering if these sad little bushes produced enough beans for planting next fall.

Dancing on very big boats

Cairo Caravan and we Rawked the house!

My students are awesome and did a fantastic job. They stepped up and showed the crowd their funky groove thing. I was thrilled and honored to have them on that stage representing the music so well. The audience seemed to love it and I feel that, even though I may have had a melt-down a couple of weeks before the show, they will mostly remember this as a positive experience. I hope. ( I hate getting so keyed up )

I saw a lot of familiar faces and some old friends too. Katerina did a fabu job and her students really did a fine job of representing too. They did a very classic tribal piece infused with some flamenco and a touch of Asian spice. Really quite lovely.

My general feelings regarding the whole event was that it could have been scaled down a bit and made more cohesive by placing the thing in the main ballroom/salon on the Promenade deck. Because the event was held on the Queen Mary the experience was overshadowed by this huge boat. I think the QM has a tendancy to swallow energy.

There may be less opportunities to dance if they choose to use the ballroom, as there is only one stage, but I bet the "energy" would feel warmer,. the boat itself is so large we need to make a more cozy space. Additionally, the whole environment would have been warmer by far. The lighting in the space where we were (centeral hold) was harsh and made everyone look tired and depressed. The space had no natural or warm incandescent lights...just fluorescent that washed everyone with a dismal pall. Going upstairs to experience the grace of the ship was a stark contrast to the metallic hold we were in. Overall, the entire experience was a bit fractured and I hope that next year they choose to make that move if possible.

How to eat like an animal

I am reading and studying raw food.

Those who know me know I am far from a vegetarian and most certainly love to cook, but the attraction of the raw diet keeps me coming back for more: questioning, experimenting, making colossal blunders and the occasional success.

What I see in raw food theory that attracts me is the promise of a healthier body, clearer mind and a more vitalized life. And fundamentally, it seems mighty easy as far as eating styles go. The tricky parts seem to be when you try to emulate “cooked” food and find yourself missing the real thing.

I plan on making a hamburger patty for my husband tonight. He asked this morning if I was going to force him to eat the way I was choosing to. I told him no and I hoped he’d try to support my choices, whatever they are.I will contemplate if I will join him or not in a beef patty tonight.

I have not made a commitment to raw food as a 100% way of eating, but I am currently writing as the dehydrator hums in the kitchen, making a variety of snaky foods to munch on through out the day. This is contrast to the peanut butter , chocolate dipped cookies from the $.99 store that JA like to eat for breakfast. I sometimes worry about this...it seems like an awful lot of sugar and processed food to be digesting.

I don’t want to judge...I want a healthy happy man in my life. If peanut butter chocolate cookies keep him happy, that’s half of the equation. I hope he’ll be healthy for many, many decades to come. I want to be there keeping up with him...step by step.

Making Mehndi

I love performing Mehndi. I have been studying and practicing this ancient art form for over 15 years (wow...has it been that long?!) and I finally feel comfortable enough to take it out on the road and do it publicly.


Up until the past 6 months, I have kept this skill rather private and for the benefit of a few friends. Yesterday, at the Green LB! Festival, I was soundly scolded for keeping this secret and admonished to “put it out there” more often. I was flattered, though at days end, I was really happy to pack up the mud and head home for a soothing shower and a quiet rest.

The process of dealing so closely with so many individual psychic signatures is a challenge and a gift. I am learning how to be very clear about boundaries and I am learning how easily I can be manipulated. Some lessons are harder than others, but I am not hanging on to the hurt, rather I am appreciating the opportunity to sidestep the potential land mines in the future. It's a pretty cool way to learn such interesting things about oneself through the ancient woman's art of body adornment!

Breakfast of Champions

GEEZ!!!

Once again with the shot of the counter top. This time, beets and hard cider....for breakfast.
Well...not really breakfast but before 10:00 am.

Justin is working in Lancaster and is up at 4 am.
YAWN!!!
...so I get up too. I saw him off, pouted into my tea for a bit, had a bite of left-over chicken and began my day.

Toady's amusement was the garden. I planted a bunch of beets, some gourds/squash, one sad lettuce and rerouted some wayward garlic. The sun was coming up as I finished. The view was spectacular with the santa ana winds just kicking up and the bay and ocean mirror smooth, reflecting the salmon-colored sky.
A good Monday indeed.

After, I pulled what was left of the beets, popped ‘em in the oven and then settled into making some more hair flowers and feathers. This project seems to be going along really well and I really like the simplicity of the work. When the beets were done, I pickled most of them but I ran out of apple cider vinegar. So I opened a bottle of the hard cider I made last month.
YUM!
It had ripened into a tasty treat and I must admit, a bit of a whopper on the alcohol scale! One little glass (pictured) made my head a bit woozy! It is grand to know I can produce my own hooch now.

Gratitude

I woke this morning to the fog drifting in across the bay. Quiet, gray and soft against my skin.
The fog horn announces the obvious.

I can see, just barely, the lettuce growing in the soft, cool soil. I feel like those tender leaves drinking in the delicate, moisture laced air. I feel grateful for the respite and relief from the constant pounding of the southern sun. The fog invigorates me in a soothing way...oxymoronic as it sounds.

The only thing missing is Stimpy. He would be so pleased with his world shrouded in fog, making his daily rounds of cat-patrol a more stealth adventure. I am grateful for the image of him in my mind,slowly making his way through the bushes, dew coating his fur and making him look like he is covered in glitter.

This silly cat always brought a smile to my face.

Bad choices when we are young.....

I have had a relationship with a bird for over 3 decades.
This erstwhile relationship developed out of a need for a pet but a mother who would not let me have a cat. So we compromised.

I got a bird.

I clearly still feel dubious about it.

Facebook

Too many social sites.
Not enough time.

I have succumbed to the horror of adding yet another way to find me on the web.
Am I becoming part of the Borg?
Will my life become transparent to all across the globe.
Do I have anything to hide?
Does it really matter what i think?
Feel?
Do?

I have mentioned lately that my major intention is to become so accessible via the internet that anyone could find me to purchase some art of order some jewelry. I guess this is the price one pays to manifest this goal.

It still feels creepy.

Happy February....Let's put on a show!

Set one block back from some of the most dramatic coastline of Los Angeles county, the Corner Store is a warm, comfortable place to sip java, read a magazine or catch up with a friend. Lovely ocean vistas are steps away. All this and the Marine Mammal Rescue Center will be hosting a wine tasting too! I hope you'll stop in tomorrow to see my newest pieces in this years spring collection.

Remember: Valentines day is only 7 days away!!!

The Body

I hurt myself.
Nothing too awful...just a trip and fall.....but It is enough to scare me though.
And this is not a cry for sympathy but an opportunity to illustrate something my teacher shared with me so long ago..

I landed on my right arm, jamming it as well as shocking and traumatizing my wrist & elbow. The acupuncturist was able to relieve a lot of the pain, but the limitations are pretty severe. The prescription for me is rest and no carrying anything. I have a lot of time to think.(The weird round spots are from "cupping" a method used by the Chinese practioner, to draw out blood "stagnation" in the hurt area.)

When I started to sculpt, using large air powered tools, my mentor would often tell me that when someone gets hurt, it is actually themselves punishing themselves. It wasn't an accident, it was to some degree self abuse, a primitive cry for attention; a very base and pitiable way of being a victim. It seemed at the time a bit melodramatic, but over the years I got to seeing how this can be so and for that matter it is a commentary on how precious our bodies are for those who work with them for a vocation.

I knew that the steps here can be a bit slippery, one must be cautious. Caution being the word to focus on. As we draw closer to being self reliant, caution is a good trait to develop. Caution keeps you alert, ready for new unexpected or perilous events or speed bumps. This very same alertness allows for receptivity and awareness for new and unexpected boons to be employed when they are identified. It will also make you slow down enough to protect your most precious physical asset’s, your hands, eyes and body. There must be great reverence for these temporal, tender animal-bodies which are mighty important to manifesting our creative divinity.

Good news for Seekers who love fashion!

Jewelry Turned Spiritual Atracts Youth

Source: http://www1.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Lifestyle/Bling_turns_spiritual_/articleshow/3845478.cms

INDIA, December 18, 2008: Spiritual jewelry has become the latest craze in India, and youngsters are rediscovering their spiritual side by flaunting it.

Says college student Ridhima Singh who always wears a chic Ganesha pendant around her neck, “Spiritual jewelry is being touted as trendy and thanks to designers, now there is no dearth of super chic designs when it comes to spiritual jewelry. Wearing spiritual jewelry makes me peaceful and I feel closer to God.”

According to jewelry designer Ravi Ajmera of Ravi Jewels, “The spirituality wave has caught on strongly and spiritual jewelry is an extension of the same. A lot of young people are buying spiritual jewelry as they are entranced by their distinguished look and the mystic element associated with them.” Youngsters are taking their pick from Shiva, Ganesha, Om, Hanuman and Sarasvati pendants, bangles and ear-rings. Rudraksha beads, believed to be the tears of Lord Shiva and worn by yogis for enlightenment, are being used–sometimes encrusted with gold–to create some exclusive pieces of jewelry. Ajmera says that the most popular among youngsters are his necklaces that have huge rudraksha beads and pendants with carved figures of Gods and Goddesses.

(HPI)

Manifestation Part Two: A House with a Garden

Our home was threatened nearly 2 years ago.
Here’s a story of how to manifest a house.

We had moved into an awesome home on a hill overlooking Los Angeles, its harbor and into Orange County. The price was a bit high but the view and house was a treat to live in.

Often times, as I traveled along the roads of San Pedro, I would see one house or another with these HUGE vegetable gardens. I had never had a large food garden like these and I was always impressed. The general population of Pedro is from the old country, so having a chicken or broccoli growing in your front yard is quite natural.

One garden was especially impressive. I would drive by, seeing this man working on the arbors, tending the grapes, digging in the dirt and generally making a terraced Eden right there above Gaffey. On the property there was also a small ‘grandmother house” or green house. I could not tell, but I often fantasized about having a studio in there with all the space and light and the magnificent view overlooking the ocean and port. what a wonderful home to have what with the view, the terraced garden full of fruit trees and vegetables and a splendid studio to boot! Of course, I would be covetous and complaining if I were to dwell on it regularly, because our home we rented from Hiroko was really quite special. This did not prevent me from exercising my imagination occasionally as I would walk past.

Flash forward:
We had been at Hirokos for over 18 months, Justin had just lost his job, my friend Gene had suddenly died, many other difficult events sideswiped us and in a fit of insanity, we decided to go to Burning Man to sort things out and see what the future fates had in store for us. We took Genes ashes to the Burn and we felt that when we got home we could leave the sadness of him passing and the uncertainty of unstable employment behind. We felt renewed and ready to face what may come.

And then we got the voice mail from our landlord, Hiroko as we drove towards Los Angeles. We had 6 weeks to move out .
She wanted to move back into her house and we needed to find a new home.

The stresses escalated to frenzy at that point. Not only had we lost our major form of income with Justin's job loss, I had also just signed a lease on my very first studio and to my horror found out the job waiting for me when I got home was gone!
Poof!
Vanished!
Given away in one week!
The demoralization was profound. How were we to find a home with no jobs, no income, no visible means of support???
Things were bleak.

So to recap:
Justin looses his job <>
I am still suffering from the illness I got from working in the garage and I can't seem to breathe.
Gene is dead.
People are slacking on paying me for work completed.
Coffee Haven looses a pivotal Co-Ord and I am the last original coordinator standing.
I loose 3 students
The Disney job tanks and...
We're essentially homeless and can't seem to find a single place that will accept our cats and bird. Everything is overpriced, in a stinky part of town or downright awful and overpriced.

Much despair was happening as time ticked by and the deadline to get moved raced towards us. We Packed with the anticipation of not knowing where we would land.

The good news began to come in. The head hunter Justin was working with called to make an offer that he and I still couldn’t believe. Then that afternoon,<> the place we had submitted an application to accepted our offer. Not only was it a home to live in but it is perfect for all the quirks we have in our life with animals and our space needs! It was easily 200 sq ft larger than the Hirokos,$200 less per month, and best of all....it was the Eden above Gaffey I had imagined living in for so long!!!

Below is the garden with the ocean view....


I was amazed...when the thought struck me that this was “the House” I had imagined living in for nearly 2 years, I was absolutely gob smacked! It is said manifestation works...I had suspected it did. Though I did not see where all the difficult times were leading, I have proof positive visualization works and now I really want to see how it will fill my life again.

Now I have my garden with a very special teacher in our landlord to help me learn how to make my own Eden.


Thank you Mario!

Manifestation Part One

Nearly four years ago, I had the good luck to work on an amazing project for Disneyland Tokyo called "Mythica".There were at one time 6 model makers, 3 mold makers, a few co-directors, Scott Schaffer being one of them and the lead designer, Richard Improta, working on making this thing happen.
It was a very “gooey” project, filled with many details and little items to sculpt.



At one point, Laurie walked past as I was working on a very tiny piece, a dragons head the size of a penny.


She asked me if I had ever done jewelry. I said no, but I had always wanted to. She walked on.
Later that week, after I had dropped my son off for Saturday morning bowling, I ran into a whole neighborhood having a community garage sale. Justin and I went off to see what fabulous junk was for sale.

I lost Justin in a matter of minutes and as I came around a corner, there he was, yuckking it up, wearing a cowboy hat and a leather vest, with two old dames who had already cracked open the 2 Buck Chuck . He looked like a little boy playing dress-up and had the ladies in stitches. I asked one woman how much for the cowboy? She laughed and took a sip of her chardonay saying, "He’s not for sale, Honey". We all giggled at that and suddenly I spied a sign, deep in the garage, “Jewelers Bench For Sale”. It was the sign I had needed to go forward with learning the jewelers trade.

I learned that the bench belonged to Audreys past husband. He had gone 3 years before and she was finally ready to part with his tools and bench. For $100 I bought that bench, a buffer, hand tools, books and some scrap silver. It was all so overwhelming....for the most part, I was set to form metals and gems into jewels!

To this day, I believe this is what some call manifestation. I wanted something and someone pointed out how skilled I would be at it and voila! the means to take that course is presented.

The wisdom of Cheese and Fire

Grilled cheese

Grilled Cheese Sammiches are a sport in this house. I am challenged every time to create yet another sublime concoction of curdled animal milk, oils, bread and various additives.

So far the ultimate winner is Prochuto Assagio, Monterey jack, white sharp Cheddar and swiss with thin sliced fresh tomato between two slices of rich, wheat bread.

For his birthday, my husband requested this as his meal of choice.

Go figger.

All day inside today...sigh

I spent all day making this look good:

www.deborahwrightdesigns.com


Opinions?
Comments?

How the garden looks at the start of 2009

I spent most of my day here.

I an excited for the worm castings I buried in the soil. They came from the worms that were gifted to us by Linda and raised in the Can-o-Worms given to us by Salman.

Dig it!

Thing-maker 2009

Thing-maker 2009

It is rather intangable...but it is compelling. I can’t say when I knew I had no other choice, but as it is, it has been many years, nearly 20 and over half my life, that I have made making things my business. I have made everything from murals to earrings, scale models to faux finishes. I have made costumes, hats, tents, stage sets and manniquins...I have more often times than not have made a mess. But I am always working with my hands and I am grateful for the daily drive to begin again.

I have had the amazing reinforcement that I am creating things worthy to be cherished. Two of my mandala paintings went to good homes this past month and I could not have been more delighted. I never really thought anyone would like to buy them and lo and behold! They are now gracing the walls of my patrons, Salman and Gabriel! I feel so wonderful about this and hope to see at least one or two more shows this year. I will be making more of these paintings starting today. When I get to the studio, I will begin the gesso process, building the foundation for the mandalas to grow upon.

In addition to the paintings, this week I will be starting a new series from stones and beads discovered in Quartzite, Arizona. My love and I went out on the New Year and I spent two days grubbing around in the dust and dirt to discover new items to make into magic. It was a joy to create in my mind the settings and “see” the new necklaces build, as I selected stones. I could have spent a fortune out there. The selection and variety of shape and unusual stones was staggering. Now for the next phase, manifesting day dreams into reality, stones into settings and silver. Weaving magic and the alchemy of the bench into a sacred personal item.

I wish to see this year blossom into the next period of focus in design and personal production. I wish it to be the foundation of my emergence as an artist of my own right, fully fledged in the skills I have journeyed to and worked hard for. Earning money effortlessly is also the final component for this years base. Money, in abundance and without negative impact on me or the person distributing it to me, is the idea. A word on money: It is not so much a goal but a means in which to continue making my day dreams into a tangible product. It will and does provide me the place to acquire the goods to make the magic of weaving Earths treasures together. It also provides the ability to pay for a space to create in, quietly, with my own thoughts as company and driving force. Money is not evil but a necessary part of what makes it possible for me to continue producing and I am now at peace with that thought. It is a vital aspect of how these things get done and how I give back. It seems to me the only way money really becomes evil is when it is used as a weapon, and for today, that is the last need I have to use money for.

So this year, I continue to make things. This year the seeds planted in my past bloom. this year you will see the best from me yet!